After a promising pilot, a ton of hype about how you could be the show to keep me sane until February, and having one of the few male Asian characters that don't speak ching chong, you are seriously harshing my buzz.
First off, I do not care about the domestic problems of Other Fiennes and Penny from Lost. To be totally honest, I barely care about Penny from Lost at all, and this cannot be a good thing because SHE IS OUR CONSTANT AND YOU HAVE FUCKED THAT UP. The only part about the shit you are trying to pull with Mister and Missus Fake American Accent that is working out is their creepy kid that keeps pulling out showstoppers at the end of episodes.
I do not care about that lesbian forensic technology expert, because all she seems to do is make asshole comments about shit she found online, building what is basically a crazy government social network. How does it make sense that half of your leads come from a gov't run Facebook? I care even less about her baby mama issues, but will admit that I'm fine with it because it's the only sign of character development that you seem to be interested in.
The only other hint of character complexity came from the other young FBI agent that threw his sorry, guilty ass off the roof (thus ending that character development with pavement), and the doctor who has some new found Asian fetish that I simply cannot care about (bring that Japanese girl back, though, unless you intend showing me her flashforward another fifty million times).
I'm even fine with weak characters so long as it serves the larger plot, but half the shit you've given us is nonsensical. I gave you leeway on Other Fiennes going to Germany to meet Dr. Mengele and finding that giant creepy Somalian radio tower (which, btw, is not even close to the 4 Toed Statue, the biggest unknown muthafucka up in this house). But when Other Fiennes suggested it would be super crazy easy to find a Persian in Hong Kong (which, btw, is not supposed to resemble a shitty ass Chinatown set with a HK Island skyline backdrop), because how many Persians can there be in Hong Kong? (answer: a lot, dumbass scriptwriters)? Bejeezus.
You've got until March to re-tool the Frankenstein beast you've unleashed on us. More importantly, you've got until then to make me care about you, even though I will honestly just be watching PVR'ed Lost episodes and wondering what the hell Betty Draper is going to do in Reno. Pick up the slack.
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